The difference between giving up and letting go
When death becomes a choice. There are moments when death is no longer something that simply happens to us. Sometimes, we are asked to participate in a decision. A ventilator can be continued or withdrawn. Artificial nutrition can be maintained. Another intervention can be attempted. Treatment can continue even when there is little possibility of recovery. Or suddenly, the question is no longer simply, How do we keep this person alive? It becomes: What does it mean to allow someone to die? I have sat with people facing this question while someone they love is no longer able to eat, speak, move, recognize them or meaningfully interact with the world around them. Sometimes the person is unconscious. Sometimes there is profound cognitive impairment. Sometimes machines, medications and medical interventions are sustaining bodily functions long after the person their family remembers seems unreachable. And still, letting go can feel impossible. Because somewh...