Grief Through the Lens of Ayurveda

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How to Feel, Heal, and Be Held.

Let’s talk about grief.
Not the tidy kind you read about in five stages.
I mean the kind that hits like a wave and leaves you gasping.
The kind that sneaks up on you in the grocery store or in the middle of a song.
The kind that lingers in your body long after the world expects you to "move on."

In Ayurveda, we don’t just see grief as an emotion to get over—we see it as a deeply human experience that affects the whole being: body, mind, and spirit. Grief isn’t a problem to solve. It’s an invitation to pause, to listen, to soften.

The Doshas and Grief

Ayurveda teaches us that we are made up of three energies: Vata, Pitta, and Kapha. When we’re grieving, these energies can get pushed out of balance, and understanding this can help us meet ourselves with more compassion.

  • Vata (Air + Ether): This is the dosha most stirred up by grief. It governs movement and the nervous system. When Vata is high, we might feel anxious, restless, forgetful, or unable to sleep. Thoughts can spiral. Emotions can feel like wind—here one moment, gone the next.

  • Pitta (Fire + Water): Grief can show up in Pitta as anger, frustration, or the need to control something—anything—to make sense of the chaos. We might throw ourselves into work or get irritable with loved ones.

  • Kapha (Earth + Water): In Kapha, grief becomes heavy. We may feel stuck, numb, tired all the time. There’s a fog that won’t lift. Tears sit just behind the eyes, but don’t always fall.

All of these are natural. All of them are okay. But the key is to recognize when we’re stuck in one of them, and gently invite ourselves back into balance.

How to Recognize Grief in the Body

Your body talks. In Ayurveda, we know grief doesn't just live in the mind—it shows up in the tissues, the breath, the digestion, the skin.

Here are some signs grief might be asking for attention:

  • Sudden changes in appetite or digestion (either constipation or loose stools—hello, Vata!)

  • Insomnia or waking around 2-4 AM (classic grief window)

  • Chest tightness or shallow breathing

  • Fatigue that doesn’t make sense

  • A deep ache that has no name

If you feel any of these, take a breath. You’re not broken. You’re processing something sacred.

Tips to Heal + Deal (Ayurveda Style)

You don’t have to "fix" grief. But you can hold it with love. Here are some gentle, earthy ways to support yourself through the process:

1. Touch your body daily.

Grief disconnects us from the body. Bring yourself back with Abhyanga, the Ayurvedic practice of self-massage using warm oil (like sesame or almond oil). It's not just about skin—it’s about soothing the nervous system and reminding yourself you are here, now, and held.

2. Eat warm, simple, nourishing food.

Favor cooked, easy-to-digest meals. Think kitchari, soups, stews. Avoid cold, raw, or processed foods—they aggravate Vata and can make you feel even more scattered. Add grounding spices like ginger, cumin, and cinnamon.

3. Create a grief ritual.

Light a candle. Write a letter. Place a flower at your altar. Let your grief be seen. Ritual creates sacred space around the mess. It makes room for emotions that have nowhere else to go.

4. Feel your feelings in real time.

Ayurveda doesn’t bypass pain. If you need to cry, cry. If you need to yell, go into the woods and let it rip. Don’t wait until you’re "alone" or "ready." Grief is now. Feel it now, even if it’s in little doses.

5. Breathe low and slow.

Practice Nadi Shodhana (alternate nostril breathing) to balance emotions and calm the mind. Even 3 minutes a day can make a difference. Grief tightens the chest—breathing helps you reclaim your heart space.

6. Lean into community.

Grief wants to isolate you. Don’t let it. Call a friend. Book a session. Sit in circle. Ayurveda is rooted in connection—with nature, with self, with others. You don’t have to do this alone.

A Final Word from My Heart to Yours

Grief isn’t a weakness. It’s a holy teacher.
It cracks us open so the light can get in.
But healing doesn’t mean erasing the pain—it means learning how to carry it with grace.

Some days, you'll feel like you're drowning. Other days, you laugh again.
Both are sacred. Both are part of the path.

And if you ever need to be reminded: You are seen. You are held. You are healing.

With all my love, 💕
Chandravati




 

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