Divorce & Motherhood - The Ugly Nobody Talks About

-


Divorce & Motherhood: 

The Ugly Nobody Talks About—and the Thriving That Comes After

Let’s have the real talk.

Not the Instagram version.
Not the “you got this, mama” pep talk.
But the real, soul-baring truth about divorce and motherhood—the kind that guts you before it grows you.

Because if you’ve been there (or you’re there right now), you know:
This journey is not just paperwork and custody schedules.
It’s grief. It’s guilt. It’s rage and relief and shame and freedom—all tangled together in a body that still has to pack lunches, show up to activites and remember the damn password for the school portal.

The Ugly That No One Talks About

1. The silent guilt.

Even when the divorce is the right thing—especially when it is—you still carry the weight.
Guilt for breaking up the “family.”
Guilt for what the kids saw, didn’t see, should’ve seen.
Guilt for choosing yourself.

And yet… choosing yourself is exactly what makes you the kind of mother your children actually need: alive, whole, and honest.

2. The loneliness.

No one prepares you for how isolating it can feel to sit in your house after the kids go to bed, silence echoing in the walls, wondering who you are now. You used to be a wife. A partner. A team. Now what?

It’s lonely. Not just for companionship, but for identity.

3. The anger.

Let’s not sugarcoat it. There’s anger. At him. At yourself. At the system. At God.
At all the red flags you ignored.
At the version of you that settled.
At the way people say “you’re so strong” when you just want someone to help carry the damn groceries.

4. The breakdowns behind closed doors.

You cry in the car.
You cry in the shower.
You cry on your bathroom floor with the door locked, hoping the kids don’t hear.
You keep showing up. You're still a mother. But now, your heart is split wide open.

This is the truth. 

And you’re NOT alone.

But Then... Something Happens.

Slowly. Quietly. Maybe even without you noticing.

You start to rebuild—not the old life, but a truer one.
You start choosing yourself, not just surviving.

This is the part people really don’t talk about—the thriving that comes after.

The Thriving (Yes, It’s Real)

🌿 You start remembering who you are.

Not who you were in the marriage. Not who you were as someone’s wife. But the you underneath all of that.

The woman who has dreams.
The woman who dances in the kitchen again.
The woman who sleeps diagonally in the bed and takes up space.

🌿 You show your children what healing looks like.

Not perfection. Not pretending. But real, honest resilience.

They see you cry and get back up.
They see you create joy out of pain.
They see you choose peace. Boundaries. Self-love. And that becomes their blueprint too.

🌿 You stop apologizing for wanting more.

You stop shrinking.
You speak your needs.
You stop asking permission to live a big, full, wild life.

🌿 You build a life that actually fits.

Maybe it's slower.
Maybe it's louder.
Maybe it’s sacred in ways you never even imagined.

You decorate how you want.
You parent how you want.
You become sovereign. Rooted. Radiant.

You become Resilient.

If You’re in the Middle of It Right Now…

Let me tell you something from one mother to another:
You are not failing. You are becoming.

Divorce isn’t the end of the story—it’s the moment you picked up the pen and started writing your own chapter.

So cry. Rage. Feel it all.
But don’t forget to notice the strength that’s rising from underneath the rubble.
That’s you. That’s your becoming.

And the beautiful thing?
You’re not just healing.
You’re thriving.
Even if it doesn’t look like it yet.
Even if it still hurts.

You're doing it.

With deep love and lived truth,
Chandravati 💕

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

From A 'House' to A 'Home'

-
Image
From A 'House' to A 'Home' : Creating My Space, My Way There’s something incredibly powerful about starting fresh—not from rock bottom, but from a place of clarity. I didn’t “lose” a home in my divorce. I let go of a house that no longer felt like one. I never imagined I’d be starting over like this. Not after 20 years of building a life, a home, a family. Divorce wasn't part of the plan—but then again, life doesn’t always ask us before it turns everything upside down. For years, I lived in a space that checked all the boxes on paper. But inside, it felt off. It was filled with the weight of expectations, routines that didn’t nourish me, and walls that quietly echoed a version of life I had outgrown. The truth is, I had been living in a house, not a home. Fast forward to today, and things look a whole lot different. I’ve created a space that’s completely mine. It’s not about square footage or decor perfection. It’s about warmth, energy, and peace. It's about thr...
Read more

For the Women Walking Alone

-
Image
  For the Women Walking Alone (But Who Were Never Meant To) There’s something happening right now. A shift. Women are carrying so much—kids, careers, relationships, emotions—and still showing up like it's all fine. But a lot of us are  not  fine. Especially moms. Especially single moms. Especially women going through transitions—divorce, heartbreak, burnout, postpartum. Let’s talk about it. Postpartum Is Not Just About Diapers We’re told that postpartum lasts 6 weeks. But the truth? It can take  years  to feel like yourself again. You're not just healing a body—you’re integrating a whole new identity. Your hormones are all over the place, you're sleep-deprived, and your world has flipped upside down. And if you don’t have a strong support system? That lack hits deep. No one’s showing up with food. No one’s holding the baby while you shower. No one’s asking how  you  are. It’s a lot. And it's lonely. Where’s the Village? We’ve all heard “it takes a vill...
Read more