In a crisis of faith...get a Toolbox.

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The poem I have written below is a reflection of those times when life seems hopeless and one feels helpless, causing a crisis of faith.  Our emotional or physical distress as a result of an external experience can feel so all-consuming that we can overlook the eternal divine truth that lays dormant inside. 


Indeed, we can purposefully turn away from that inner true voice as we may have lost touch on how to nurture and cultivate our connection to it. Yet it is there always and if we are silent and reflective, maybe we can somehow connect with it.  


It is the voice that bestows forgiveness and unconditional love which we may feel that we do not always deserve or it feels unnatural as we are so conditioned to believe otherwise. It is the essence of the true self that has become obscured by negative reactions to life.  It can be challenging to take the time and slow down in order to go within when faced with a problem as we go into survival mode. 


It is helpful to firstly recognize and acknowledge all our emotions rather than suppressing them, for instance, even verbalizing it as “I’m feeling….”, “This bothers me because….” either to ourselves or to those that need to hear it. By accepting them we can work towards releasing them as we connect to our truth. Then we can begin our internal healing process.  


So, for me personally, this has meant learning to connect within during those ‘good’ times because when I am calm, I have the strength, energy and patience to explore different techniques to do this, whether it be through learning breath control (Pranayama), mantra meditation, journaling, online courses, reading, establishing a prayer routine, writing affirmations etc. 


This has enabled me to gather tools and resources that can help ground me so that when I am in crisis mode, I have this ‘toolbox’ ready. So, even though my problem is still there, I can become careful in not permitting it to drain my energy and time through obsessing about it.  


This enables me to accept a situation and to feel self-assured in how I deal with it because I have put it into perspective with all that I am.  


Writing this poem brought to mind the ancient Hawaiian healing prayer of Ho'oponopono that I feel embodies self-compassion: “I'm sorry, Please forgive me, Thank you, I love you.”

 

When Truth speaks

Thank you for being the true love in my heart,
For my knowing that we are never apart,
For being the perfect peace in my mind,
Even through the testing trials I find
Your pure Prescence of eternal divine light
Surrounding me through every perilous plight.


But when thwarted with struggles and strains,
I pine to look past the torment of pains,
And dwell in a safe place of truth not fear,
In hopeful faith with life easier to bear. 
Sadly, deception of anxiety, doubt, and pride,
Has me hooked on a turbulent, troubled ride.


Still there is a soft voice thirsting to be heard,
confined but yet alluring as a calling songbird.
Alas, the more I suppress and neglect,
The greater the weight of hopeless regret,
For wasting finite energy and fading time,
Held captive in my own prison of grime.


If I could nurture my heart to trust,
Turning my woeful whims into dust,
That flitter away like petals in the wind,
Revealing that I have in no way sinned, 
Though I may turn away in my disgrace,
In mercy, you enfold me in your embrace.


And maybe I can gently accept and replace
the trying traumas with forgiving grace.
So though I may drown out the voice inside,
Thank you for reminding me of where you reside.
Because I am one with that which I desperately seek,
The one with whom I turn to and longingly speak.


By Deborah Sharma

(Skylit Ayurveda)





 

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